Pat’s Papers Year in Review: The Headlines of 2012
Monday, 31 December 2012 | by Pat's Picks
Well it’s the last day of the year, the perfect time to look back at the headlines that we forwarded to friends, chatted about at the water cooler and made 2012 a year to remember.
• There were three Friday the Thirteenths in 2012, though the New York Post didn’t run into any bad luck coming up with hilarious headlines. Two of our favorites: “Devil Wears Nada,” which Anne Hathaway probably didn’t appreciate and “Chicken of the Sea,” after the Italian captain of the Costa Concordia was caught fleeing the ship he crashed.
• We had a story about a toddler who was hospitalized after finding—and eating—several of Grandma’s Pot Cookies, got news that Cadbury has created ‘Temperature Tolerant Chocolate’, and were introduced to a low-fat version of Paula Deen.
• In San Francisco, a nudity ban heralded hilarious exceptions—“bare-bottom cowboy chaps: OK.” 2012 was the year Playboy put its first Indian cover girl, whom the New York Post deemed a ‘Hindi Hottie’. We also got a glimpse inside New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s Man Cave.
• At work presenteeism, not absenteeism, was a worry during flu season, but not for Greg Smith, whose New York Times op-ed titled Why I’m Leaving Goldman Sach made headlines back in March.
• During the summer, all eyes were on the athletes during the London Olympics, except when they were trained to the stands where the parents of gymnast Aly Raisman put on quite a show of their own. Officials decided women’s tennis was a bit too theatrical, and developed a “grunt-o-meter”. We also learned that feet in the US are bigger than ever—“a women’s 8 1/2 is the new 7,” an industry spokesperson told the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
• Speaking of bigger, Texas set the nation’s highest speed limit and the Wall Street Journal upgraded its ‘Home’ section to the ‘Mansion’ section.
• College students were instructed to save water by “showerpooling” and meterologists in the South explained how to judge a hurricane by the “Waffle House Index.” We got a spectacular photo of Manhattan without the lights on, post-Sandy and a first glimpse at the “killer iceberg” that took down the Titanic. New Yorkers also got a crucial geography lesson: Brooklyn is on Long Island.
• Scientists discovered a strain of “zom-bees,” learned that apes have midlife crises too, and that beer makes men smarter.
• Moscato, the sweet wine only your mom used to drink, got some street cred, thanks to the hip hop community, Starbucks made it acceptable to order a Tall, Hot Blonde (Coffee), and 7-11 made it acceptable for dieters to indulge in a Slurpee, with the nationwide release of “Slurpee Lite.”
• Virgin Atlantic started serving Richard Branson-shaped ice cubes, and employed a “whisper coach” to teach flight attendants the finer points of a quiet art.
• We were introduced the world’s tiniest dog, and a 250-pound beach towel.
• And finally, as far as fashion goes, 2012 will be remembered as the year Uggs debuted Wedding Boots (Pat’s reaction: ugg.) and men were encouraged to buy “mantyhose.” Pat refused to heed that advice or the subsequent trend of Adult onesies, even though the Biebs was an early adopter. Some things, it turns out, are better left in the past.
Join us on Wednesday as we start chronicling 2013’s headlines but until then have a very Happy New Year!
