Literal Money Laundering

There’s laundering money and then there’s actually laundering money. Terrified his fingerprints were on a windfall of cash he embezzled, a trader charged in a $32 million insider trading case decided the best way to distance himself from the dirty money was to throw it in his mother’s washing machine reports the New York Post. Turns out the 43-year-old man didn’t actually turn on the spin cycle but in “taped conversations that read like dialogue from Woody Allen’s ‘Small Time Crooks’,” he hypothesized about the many ways he could distance himself from the ill-gotten gains. Burning the money and withdrawing it in large chucks to the FBI might be convinced it was used to buy prostitutes are some of the man’s other genius ideas.


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